Rae wakes up with a tremor, as if another quake, the third this month, was twisting and turning through the insides of the dry, hot, Southern California earth. March was earthquake season after-all. But this was not the case, at least not by the standards of any richtor scale. No no, Rae was up to his old tricks again. Late nights and early mornings working in those dusty archives up at the University had gotten him into a nasty amphetamine habit. At the moment he felt the fatigue overcoming him, as if to swallow his broken body whole, he’d place one of those tiny blue pills on the tip of his tongue. Baby blues, he’d call them, as he let it slowly dissolve inside his dry mouth, savoring the oddly sweet, poisonous flavor that seeped into his taste buds. Just a quick nap he’d think, and would nestle his head gently between his folded arms. Just like that, he’d sleep for five, perhaps ten minutes, crumpled like a sad, misplaced piece of laundry, hidden in plain sight between piles of paper.
But the thing about Adderall is that it doesn’t take naps, and like an internal alarm clock, it would shake Rae awake with a beaded layer of perspiration on his brow. Like always, he dreamt of Selena, just like he had been for the past five years. It was not a wet dream, never a wet dream. She didn’t suck him off or anything. No, no, nothing like that. It was all very civilized. Very decent. This time he awoke with the faintest recollection of eggs. The eggs were of all shapes, sizes, colors and materials. They were falling, falling all around him. He would extend his hands to grasp them, but they would slip through his fingers, or hover just out of reach. Selena was beside him, mumbling something about a ring. Rae couldn’t make out what she was saying. She wasn’t enunciating well and her accent sounded oddly foreign. Was that British English she was speaking? Rae turn to face her, to ask her to repeat herself, but it was too late. It was always too late. Selena was gone and Rae woke up with a racing heart and that sickening, yet all too familiar feeling, that he had received and lost an infinite thing.
Rae knew what the eggs meant. He wasn’t an idiot. The egg shaped ring was the last thing that Selena held in her hand at the time of her death, and consequently, the key to understanding this whole messy, occult, lesbian love story he was trying to prove. Rae had been working on the Selena archives at UCLA for the past 2 years, collecting every magazine, newspaper, doll, clothing item, poster, CD, cassette, VHS, every known item on the Selena scavenger hunt. Some items were harder to get than others. Between the Quintanilla family and eBay, much of Selena memorabilia was out of reach, financial or otherwise. But Rae had done a decent job collecting what he could, and the archives were set to open next month on the anniversary of Selena’s death. But Rae already considered the archives a failure and the egg dream, nightmare rather, was just a reminder of that. Shaking of the remnants of his nap, Rae surveyed the the flutter of post-its tacked above his desk: “The passion of Selena,” "the test of Abraham," “the framing of Yolanda.”
According to official records, Yolanda Saldívar shot and killed the Queen of Tejano in March of 1995 at the Days Inn motel in Corpus Christi, Texas. Saldívar had been the president of Selena’s fan club and the manager of her line of boutiques. Accused of embezzling money from the family, she was fired and told to leave Selena alone. Three weeks later, on the morning of March 31, 1995, Selena agreed to meet Saldívar at a Days Inn motel in Corpus Christi to retrieve financial records Saldívar had been refusing to turn over. Saldívar once again delayed the handover by claiming she had been raped in Mexico. Selena drove Saldívar to a local hospital, where doctors found no evidence of rape. They returned to the motel, where Selena again demanded the financial papers. Saldívar took a pistol from her purse and pointed it at the singer. Selena tried to flee, but Saldívar shot her once in her right shoulder, severing an artery. Critically wounded, Selena ran towards the lobby for help. She collapsed on the floor as the clerk called 911, with Saldívar chasing her, calling her a "bitch". Selena died in a hospital from loss of blood at 1:05 p.m, two weeks from her 24th birthday.
Since October of 1995, Yolanda has been serving a life sentence in a Texas prison and will be eligible for parole on March 31, 2025. Saldívar has maintained her innocence throughout, claiming that the shooting was an accident and that she would never hurt someone she loved so much.
Rae sees the story differently and this archive, if finished, will prove it. The true story of Selena’s death goes something like this:
But the thing about Adderall is that it doesn’t take naps, and like an internal alarm clock, it would shake Rae awake with a beaded layer of perspiration on his brow. Like always, he dreamt of Selena, just like he had been for the past five years. It was not a wet dream, never a wet dream. She didn’t suck him off or anything. No, no, nothing like that. It was all very civilized. Very decent. This time he awoke with the faintest recollection of eggs. The eggs were of all shapes, sizes, colors and materials. They were falling, falling all around him. He would extend his hands to grasp them, but they would slip through his fingers, or hover just out of reach. Selena was beside him, mumbling something about a ring. Rae couldn’t make out what she was saying. She wasn’t enunciating well and her accent sounded oddly foreign. Was that British English she was speaking? Rae turn to face her, to ask her to repeat herself, but it was too late. It was always too late. Selena was gone and Rae woke up with a racing heart and that sickening, yet all too familiar feeling, that he had received and lost an infinite thing.
Rae knew what the eggs meant. He wasn’t an idiot. The egg shaped ring was the last thing that Selena held in her hand at the time of her death, and consequently, the key to understanding this whole messy, occult, lesbian love story he was trying to prove. Rae had been working on the Selena archives at UCLA for the past 2 years, collecting every magazine, newspaper, doll, clothing item, poster, CD, cassette, VHS, every known item on the Selena scavenger hunt. Some items were harder to get than others. Between the Quintanilla family and eBay, much of Selena memorabilia was out of reach, financial or otherwise. But Rae had done a decent job collecting what he could, and the archives were set to open next month on the anniversary of Selena’s death. But Rae already considered the archives a failure and the egg dream, nightmare rather, was just a reminder of that. Shaking of the remnants of his nap, Rae surveyed the the flutter of post-its tacked above his desk: “The passion of Selena,” "the test of Abraham," “the framing of Yolanda.”
According to official records, Yolanda Saldívar shot and killed the Queen of Tejano in March of 1995 at the Days Inn motel in Corpus Christi, Texas. Saldívar had been the president of Selena’s fan club and the manager of her line of boutiques. Accused of embezzling money from the family, she was fired and told to leave Selena alone. Three weeks later, on the morning of March 31, 1995, Selena agreed to meet Saldívar at a Days Inn motel in Corpus Christi to retrieve financial records Saldívar had been refusing to turn over. Saldívar once again delayed the handover by claiming she had been raped in Mexico. Selena drove Saldívar to a local hospital, where doctors found no evidence of rape. They returned to the motel, where Selena again demanded the financial papers. Saldívar took a pistol from her purse and pointed it at the singer. Selena tried to flee, but Saldívar shot her once in her right shoulder, severing an artery. Critically wounded, Selena ran towards the lobby for help. She collapsed on the floor as the clerk called 911, with Saldívar chasing her, calling her a "bitch". Selena died in a hospital from loss of blood at 1:05 p.m, two weeks from her 24th birthday.
Since October of 1995, Yolanda has been serving a life sentence in a Texas prison and will be eligible for parole on March 31, 2025. Saldívar has maintained her innocence throughout, claiming that the shooting was an accident and that she would never hurt someone she loved so much.
Rae sees the story differently and this archive, if finished, will prove it. The true story of Selena’s death goes something like this:
- Selena and Yolanda were lesbian lovers and were planning on starting a life together
- The father, Abraham Quintanilla, suspected a growing desire between his “impressionable” daughter and Saldívar. Yolanda was fired as punishment.
- The meeting at the Days Inn on March 31 was one of many routine, clandestine romantic getaways between Selena and Yolanda. This time was different however!
- Yolanda confessed that Abraham had raped her on the night that she was fired. The rape, he claimed, was Saldívar’s punishment for putting “lesbian ideas” into his daughter’s head. According to Abraham, Yolanda didn’t know what it meant to be a real woman and it was his job to teach her.
- Selena immediately drives Yolanda to a nearby hospital, unaware that Abraham is following them in his car.
- The doctors send Yolanda away, rape unconfirmed, claiming that it has been too long since the actual incident occurred
- Selena and Yolanda return to the motel room, while Abraham is parked outside in the parking lot
- Inside the room, Yolanda gives Selena the egg ring, and the two plan to run away together
- Sitting in his car outside, Abraham believes he has received a message from God, the almighty Jehovah. Part of his duty as a Jehovah’s witness and a way to honor the biblical legacy of his name, Abraham believes he must kill Selena, a sacrificial murder that will make up for her lesbian transgressions. Selena’s death will also be a devastating punishment for Saldívar.
- With pistol in hand, Abraham approaches the motel room where the two women are plotting their escape from Corpus. Abraham intends complete his heavenly duties, which would mean the murder of his daughter. But yet he longs for an act of divine intervention that will cause the malfunction of his gun. Deep down, he hopes and prays that his daughter, like Isaac, will be spared.
- As fate would have it however, the deux machina never arrives. Abraham enters the room, finding the two women, locked in an impassioned embrace on the bed. He aims the pistol at Selena, shoots and kills her. It is done. God didn’t save her. God didn’t stop him.
- Selena was “sacraficed” for being a lesbian. She was killed for not being the daughter that Abraham, the patriarch of Los Dinos, needed her to be. The other two kids, AB III and Suzette were lost causes, queer from the day they were born. They would never be able to “pass,” but Selena? She was a different story. She was his hope to re-write his own legacy of Tejano musical stardom. Selena, with her innocent, pure virginal femininity. Yolanda compromised that perfect narrative.
- For the next 20 years, racked with trauma and guilt, Abraham has tried to resurrect his daughter: monuments, museums, gravesites, music festivals, films, merchandise and now, a hologram tour. It is all part of a lucrative business of policing and controlling her legacy and how she has been and will be remembered: a good girl, who loved her family, her faith and above all, men.